Dream Like

Let’s talk about the weather. Something completely mundane and simple. I’ll watch your expressions change, your eyes twinkle, as you talk about how warm it was today. You’ve missed the sun on your back.

Let’s take a photo of us, in bed. We’ll laugh and smile and know how silly it must look to be holding a camera above our heads, towards the ceiling. But outside perspectives are not welcome here.

Let’s play some quiet jazz on a record player. We’ll eat a home cooked meal. Something with fish. And after, as I wash the dishes, you’ll come up behind me, and wrap your arms around my waist. 

We’ll watch a movie, and eat strawberry ice cream. And with full bellies, I’ll guide you to bed, where we’ll sleep. You’ll forget to take off your glasses, and as you suddenly drift off, I’ll think about how I wouldn’t change a thing. 

An ode to 24

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I turned 24 this last Monday, and while it’s not viewed as a milestone age in any regard there was a significance to this birthday that I have never really felt with any previous birthday, not even my 18th.

This was the first birthday I’ve had outside of a school environment. This was the first birthday I’ve had truly living on my own. This was the first birthday where I’ve had a job that is actually helping build my career, the first birthday where I’ve thought about what it means to grow older, and it was my first birthday living in New York City.

The weight that this birthday holds in my eyes has very organically led me to make a few decisions regarding myself and the direction my life is going. These decisions are not really based on age or any type of “responsibility” that comes along with turning a mere one year older. These decisions are based on the fact that I truly feel ready to put into action many things that I’ve actually known and felt for quite some time. 

I’ve decided that I love myself enough to quit smoking. After 6 years of repeating to myself and others, “Oh it’s not like I’m a real smoker, I only smoke 2-3 cigarrettes a day it’s not that big of a deal,” I’m finally ready to accept the fact that this is a habit of pure self destruction, no matter how often I do it. It was the act of smoking that allured me. I felt as if it projected out to others the notion that I was laid back and somewhat of a rebel. But I’m starting to see my skin react to the smoke that fills my pores with each puff. And my hands are beginning to dry and crack. And my conscious is beginning to tell me every time I take a drag that I’m voluntarily sabotaging my well being. This won’t be easy, but I love myself enough now to stop.

I’ve decided that I’m not ready to date anyone seriously. Since my senior year of high school I’ve jumped from one long-term relationship to the next, with little breaks in-between and painful goodbyes defining each and every encounter. Since moving to the city I’ve been on dates, and I’ve seen a few men for month long stints at a time, and with each I told myself how much I wished it would turn into something more. But now I’m willing to acknowledge that I’m not ready for anything in my life that puts me in that much of a vulnerable state emotionally. There’s a lot of things about myself and my personality that I’d like to explore and work on. I deluded myself for many years, thinking that relationships didn’t distract me from my own personal growth. But they do, and that’s true with anyone. I can’t define success by the nature of my love life, at least not at this moment.

I’ve decided that I am powerful enough to say no to projects that don’t interest me, or that I don’t have time for. I’m passionate about my job, and a few smaller side projects that I am working on by myself. But I no longer have to say yes to everything just because I can do something, or that I should do something because it will improve my resume or make me stand out professionally. 

I’ve decided to write more because it’s something I enjoy. I was told many times throughout my college career that I was not a writer, or that I was not “the creative type.” But I’m not in school anymore, and I get to choose how I define myself. And maybe I’m not what some would consider a writer, but I get a lot of personal satisfaction from sharing my thoughts with others, and that’s all that really matters.

I’ve decided to go on more runs, so I can feel strong and be proud of my body. I’ve decided to have more fun. To drink more wine and laugh more with friends. I’ve decided to experiment more with my make-up, and to paint my nails bright colors. I’ve decided to let go of some painful memories, and to not forgive some people in my life that have hurt me, but to instead back away from their influence. I’ve decided to read more, to drink more coffee and tea, and to be proud of my accomplishments. And more museums, I’d like to go to more museums. 

These are not resolutions that I fear breaking, these are decisions that I look forward to taking on little by little. And it’s not about growing up, it’s about moving forward. None of the things I have mentioned are revolutionary, but they are important to me, and to accomplish what is important to me is in and of itself revolutionary. 

Happy birthday to me.

Little ghosts and pumpkins

I had a cold, cold feeling in my toes.
And socks were the only cure.
But I made a point to pick, my Halloween ones.
Because it’s been fall for a year now.
Or so it seems.
Or so it should be.

The Right Kind of Family

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I’ve been relatively silent concerning the recent Supreme Court hearings. I don’t know if this is due to how busy I’ve been over the past few months, or if it’s because I am just so exhausted over the fact that we are still discussing this issue. People should be allowed to marry whomever they want regardless of gender or sexual orientation, end of story.

There is one particular aspect of this issue however that I felt the need to be a bit more vocal about. 

Some of the arguments against gay marriage that have been brought up during these hearings, concerns the issue of a child needing both a mother and a father in order to grow up healthy and happy. 

Let me tell you a story.

In high school I was taking a women in literature class, although we often discussed many issues concerning feminism studies outside of literature. I remember we were asked to create a project and give presentations at some point, and although I forget what the guidelines were, I do remember one particular group that presented something that still sticks with me.

I grew up in a small town, with conservative values. The people in this group were a perfect reflection of these “values.” Their presentation was about children and marriage and what a child needs in order to thrive. At one point during the presentation they gave some bullshit statistic on how children who are raised by single parents are more likely to fail in school and grow up to have a criminal background. Now, if I were to hear this presentation today, I would probably not react too strongly. I would respond with logic and reason and calmness. But at the time I was an emotional 17 year old. I became angry. I left the room, and just started to bawl. At one point a friend came out to comfort me, I gathered my composure, and returned to a tension filled classroom. 

My mother raised me, with help from my grandmother and other friends and family. I always felt very loved and supported and to this day I am so grateful for the family that I have. But as a 17 year old trying to deal with a variety of issues and problems, I did not need someone telling me that I was somehow inadequate because I was not raised by a so called “traditional family.”

But this is really not about me, or my personal background. It’s about all the children out there who are being raised by gay parents or transgendered parents that are gathering from these hearings that their family is somehow unacceptable and that they will suffer for not being raised by both a man and a woman. With all that children and teens have to struggle with, do we really need to be sending them the message that their family is “not enough?”

So to all the kids out there that are struggling with these Supreme Court hearings, to all the kids who are being told that their family is not the “right kind of family,” know that you are not alone. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not enough, or that your family is not enough. If you are loved and cared for, then that is all that matters. Stand-up and say, “My family is beautiful, and they love me, and that’s what really counts,”

And for anyone who is curious, I ended up doing very well in school, I even graduated from college. And I have no criminal background. Take that, “statistics.”

My Super Bowl Experience

Even those that barely know me can venture a guess that I’m not really a sports person. But I do understand why people care, why people will get up and cheer. Everyone needs something to believe in, something to root for. The way that I sit with baited breath every time a RuPaul contestant is about to lip sync for her life is the same way a sports fan feels when his team is about to score the winning touchdown. Same feelings, different scenarios (also I really just wanted to sneak in a RuPaul reference.)

Nonetheless, I attended a Super Bowl party last night. I was a bit over dressed, happy to be in good company, and pleased to be throwing back some beers after a long week. Now, I could break down every ad that played during the game. Which ones I liked and which ones were horrible and which had a strong strategy. But many others have already done that, and to be honest I wasn’t fully paying attention to all the ads at the time (There was a platter of pretzels and dip next to my seat, can you blame me?)

Here’s what I was paying attention to, though— as every ad came on, I looked at the faces of those around me, and I listened to their reactions. I heard their critiques, and noted their groans of delight and apprehension. It’s amazing to me what a spectacle these ads are; they’re almost a bigger deal than the game itself. 

But what I loved most about the reactions from the people around me was that they were all reactions from people WHO DON’T WORK IN THE AD INDUSTRY. And most of the people there I didn’t really know that well, so they had no idea that I work for the very industry they’re reacting to. I felt like an undercover spy. 

It’s so easy for us advertising freaks and geeks to get wrapped up in the work our industry is producing. We sometimes care so much about what other marketing people think of our work that we forget who we’re actually making these ads for. It was such an eye opening experience for me to see non-advertising people react to advertising. It was a nice reminder to me of what I got into this business to do: to listen to real people and understand how they want to be communicated to. To understand what real people will listen to, what they think is important, and how they will interact with a brand’s message.

I think it’s important for everyone, no matter what industry they work for, to take a step back every now and then and ask themselves who they’re really trying to talk to, and who they’re really making their work for. Because art isn’t always for artists, writing isn’t always for writers, and ads aren’t always for advertisers.

If you want to move to NYC, here’s some advice

A very lovely young woman named Hannah Everman, an aspiring journalist and NYC hopeful, asked me some awesome questions about a month back about moving to NYC. I had a great time answering her questions and thought I’d share my responses with everyone. Hope you enjoy!

Hey Chelsea, sorry it took me a little while to get this message to you, but here are my most burning questions about NYC.

#1 - Finding a job. Did you already have a job lined up before you moved there? If so, what was your process on getting that job? If not, did you move to NYC without a job and find one there? If you did that, how’d you go about doing that?

So the scary answer to this question is that not only did I move out here without having a job in place, IT’S BEEN ALMOST FOUR MONTHS AND I STILL DON’T HAVE A JOB.

Many people have told me that it takes about six months when you first move out here to land your first gig. I’ve seen it done a lot quicker than that though, and if I have anything to say about it I’ll have something before I hit my five month anniversary.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had a number of interviews and meetings with some of the best and the brightest. Now, I say “fortunate enough” because I am very grateful and very humbled by these experiences. But getting interviews and coffee dates with industry professionals has nothing to do with fortune. You have to work your ass off. You have to knock on a lot of doors, call a lot of people, and pay attention to who’s who. No one is going to just hand you a job, they might not even answer all ten of the emails you’ve sent them. You’ll be faced with rejection, criticism, and a lot of self-doubt, and the only way you’ll get better at what you do and make your soul stronger is if you let all of this negativity propel you forward, not hold you back. Read this article on how rejection breeds creativity-

A few practical strategies for getting your first job in NYC-

1. When emailing- keep things short, creative, and to the point.

2. Also concerning email- try to do enough stalking on the internet to get the emails of the recruiters/heads of HR at the places you want to work at. You’ll have better luck getting in touch with these people than if you just fill out an online application.

3. Network the shit out of this city. Your goal should be to have AT LEAST two meetings a week, even if it’s just grabbing lunch with someone who does what you want to be doing. Get on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, all of it. Talk to people. Go to events and lectures that interest you. Put yourself out there in a meaningful way.

4. And start networking NOW. Don’t wait till you get to the city to start connecting with people. Make friends now so that by the time you move here you’ll have a list of people you can meet with right away.

5. Always follow up and thank people. Thank people every chance you get.

#2 - Financial stuff. I know this might be kind of personal, but it would be great to hear your insight on it. Did you have enough money saved up to move there or did your family help you out at all? Obviously NYC is one of the most expensive places to live in, but young people like us do it all the time, so what are you recommendations on how to live there without going broke in two months? Haha.

This is such a logistical question and I love it! So here’s my story- I moved out here with about $3,500 in the bank. Some of that was savings from all the part time jobs I’ve had throughout college, and then the rest was money from family given to me as a graduation present/seed money to move here. My family is not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I come from a single parent household and I’ve almost always had to help support myself with part time jobs. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. My family is incredibly supportive and I’m pretty sure my mother would give me the clothes off her back even if we were standing in a pile of snow. Since moving here almost four months ago I’ve had a bit of help every month from my mom, (roughly about $500 a month to put towards my $700 rent), but once I land a job I’ll no longer need that boost. If anything I’ll be the one sending my mother money. Ultimately my goal is to buy her a beach house. Not even joking about that. That woman is one bad ass, self-sacrificing bitch and I plan on giving her everything I have once I have it.  

Tips on living cheaply here in the city-

1. Don’t be afraid to live in a cheap, crappy apartment that’s invested by mice and cockroaches. It’ll build character and save you money until you land your dream job. You have the rest of your life to live somewhere nice so take this opportunity while you’re young to live in a hole-in-the-wall and let it inspire you.

2. Make your own coffee. Get a coffee maker if your apartment doesn’t already have one or make instant coffee.

3. Buy your own groceries to avoid eating out all the time.

4. Buy all your toiletry items at the nearest dollar store. I once bought tampons, deodorant, Advil, and soap all together for under $10. You can’t get better than that.

5. Set a budget for how much you can afford to spend on luxuries such as going out to drinks with friends.

6. If you plan on using the subway at least twice a day, (which you should be doing anyway since you’ll be setting up meetings and exploring the city), buy a month long subway pass instead of paying $20 a time for limited passes. It’s a lot up front but you save time and money over the long term.

7. Pick up freelancing gigs if you can. Write a few posts for a blog. Look on craigslist for opportunities. Hell, look on craigslist to find your dream job! 

#3 - Do you think it’s a ridiculous goal for me to want to move to NYC right after I graduate? It’s really the only thing I’ve ever been sure about. I know that I need a solid plan to make it work and that’s why I’m talking to you  I guess I’d just appreciate any additional little tips (if any) you could bestow on me.

The short answer to this is no, you are not ridiculous. Moving here was the only thing I was sure about too when I graduated and I’ve never looked back. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I feel this way even on the days when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. And that’s the thing about this city. One minute you’ll feel on top of the world and the next you’ll feel like the smallest person alive. But if you can handle it, which I know you can, you’ll become fiercely independent and tenacious to boot. The energy here is unlike any other place in the world, and if you let this energy push you to work harder rather than let it overwhelm you, you’ll be successful.

The other night I was waiting for the subway with my very dear friend and roommate, and we were saying how strange it is how this city feels so much like home even though we’ve only lived here for a few months. This city will consume you until you feel like you’ve never lived anywhere else your whole life.

To sum everything up- Work hard, save money, work harder, thank people, and make your own coffee.

If you ever need any more advice or want me to clarify anything I’ve just said please let me know. I might be slow sometimes when it comes to replying but I’m always here to help and delve out advice. It’s fun and I want to see more strong women like you become successful and pursue your dreams. 

To you, what does “being digital” mean?

I’ve been asked this quite a bit as of recent. As an aspiring account planner/strategist, this question is a bit loaded. There’s a lot of debate in the ad world about what it means to be a digital strategist, or a digital account planner, or just simply a person who thinks digitally. Awhile back I wrote a post about what it means to be a “digital account planner,” but I’m hoping to simplify that thought process based on some recent inspiration and real life encounters. 

In his post titled “The Modern Day Planner,” Simon Harle discusses what it really means to be a planner with digital experience and if it’s even necessary for planners to be a “jack of all trades.” He also says, “As Junior Planners make their way up through the ranks of traditional agencies, they will naturally come equipped with a greater knowledge and understanding of digital than those in the same role 10 years ago.”

I agree with Harle that it’s important to distinguish that there is a difference between those that are specializing in digital and those that simply have digital skills, and that planners should not burden themselves with picking up skills in every area of specialty that they can. But on the flip side, I think it’s extremely important for all planners/strategists to be digitally savvy no matter what their specialty or whether they work in a digital shop or not. As problem solvers we need to be able to understand and breakdown every communication channel that is out there in order to know how people behave, and how best to reach them.

To me, “being digital” or being a “planner with digital experience,” means that you know the inner workings of digital so that you can understand consumer behavior, what people are talking about, and how people are interacting with various digital experiences. As well, it’s about knowing what I like to call “the inner workings of digital.” Awhile back I had the pleasure of visiting a social media agency in DUMBO called Carrot Creative and while I was there I was asked about API’s for Twitter, Tumblr, and other social media platforms. Not long after this meeting I met with a fellow strategist friend who asked me about my experience with using various analytics platforms such as Sysomos and Radian6. All of these tools and platforms help planners connect and listen to the digital world. These are examples of the inner workings of digital. 

It’s no surprise to me that an aspiring strategist such as myself would be getting asked such specific questions about digital and if I really know how it works. These conversations with Carrot and various agency strategists really propelled me to explore this world more, searching for answers in an effort to formulate my POV on the matter. 

And concerning Harle’s comment on juniors- while I can agree on a certain level that junior planners have a greater knowledge of digital than most, I also don’t think it’s a very safe assumption to assume that just because someone is young and grew up on the internet means that they “know digital.” So many people my age when asked about being digital will say things like, “Oh I actively use Twitter” or “I know that Facebook is important to brands.” This does not mean that you know digital and if that’s your definition then you have barely scratched the surface.

I love this presentation on using various digital strategy tools to help develop insights and understand consumer behavior.

This is a great example of what needs to be mastered by planners in order to become digitally experienced. 

The digital world doesn’t have to be complicated. When you know the inner workings and how to use tools that measure the digital experience, you’ll know how to use this world to measure, communicate, and understand. And on a fundamental level, that is what planners do. We measure, communicate, and understand. 

Author’s note: I apologize for my overuse of “quotation marks” in this post. Don’t worry, I’m disgusted with myself as well. 

Deconstructing the ad industry

One of my jobs as an aspiring planner is to simplify problems and be curious about the world around me. Often times, I will take this curiosity and use it to break down the very industry I’m working to become a part of. The ad world to me is fascinating, especially when it comes to how strategists/planners fit into the mix.

As I continue to explore, network, and grow as a young professional, I thought it would be important to discuss the role of the junior strategist within the ad industry. It’s a bit of a controversial position, and it’s very difficult to come across. With that in mind, I created this presentation to break down the problem and discuss some possible solutions.

I consider this a living document, one that will be updated or perhaps followed up with in the future with a “part 2” presentation if you will.

The goal is to start a discussion, get people thinking, and personally for me the goal is to always approach my work and my future with a sense of naivety and eagerness.

Very special thank you to Mark Pollard and Ashly Stewart for their encouragement, time, and mentorship. 

How to be happy

Make your own coffee in the morning. Discover exactly how you like to prepare it and then take the time to enjoy that particular process. Have one mug that you use exclusively. Maybe it’s something farcical like a Winnie the Pooh mug from Goodwill. Or maybe it’s something special. Perhaps it’s a mug you got on your trip to London three years ago that gently reminds you with every sip that you really need to go back there someday. 

Take control of your health. When you feel sick, go to the doctor. And if that doctor doesn’t take the time to properly treat you, go somewhere else and get a second opinion. Find a doctor that listens and cares and takes your concerns to heart. Rest. Rest a lot. Drink those disgusting vitamin C powder mixes the second the weather tells you that winter has arrived. 

Love your friends for everything they are and everything they’re not. Remember that even your best friend isn’t perfect. Cherish whatever neuroses your friends carry with them. They can be grinding at moments, but it’s safe to say that you carry some of your own annoying habits that those closest to you have accepted. Give them the same courtesy. 

Be bad. Don’t floss your teeth every night. Have one too many drinks once in a while. Buy something luxurious that you know you can’t afford but damn does that dress make your butt look good. Order pasta instead of salad. Spend a whole Sunday lying in bed with someone special. 

Call your mom. Call her just to talk, not because you need something. Miss her. Miss the way she tells stories about your family and how she always forgets her glasses when you go to the movies together. And if you can, when you can, visit her. Help her cook dinner. Wash the dishes. Take a nap on her couch. Hug her.

Remind yourself that everyone is on a different path in life. In this moment you may not be where you feel you should be, but that’s ok. Keep working hard. Be patient. Enjoy the journey. Write about the journey. Laugh at all the weird and horrible things that happen along the way. Cry when you need to. Be alone with your thoughts. Spend a lot of time with good people who support you and only want the best for you. Treat yourself with kindness. 

Don’t follow any of the advice on this list. Write your own “How to be happy.”